Read more about the article The Unexpected Freedom of Not Taking Things Personally

The Unexpected Freedom of Not Taking Things Personally

We’ve all been there. One comment, and suddenly your mood tanks. But here’s a powerful reminder: what people say or do is about them—how you interpret it is up to you.

Let’s say you just finished a presentation you’ve worked on for weeks. A colleague says, “I’m not sure this approach will work.” Your heart sinks. You feel embarrassed, maybe even defensive.

But what if there’s another way to experience this moment?

Perception is Personal

If ten people watched your presentation, you’d get ten different opinions—not because anyone’s wrong, but because we all see things through our own lens. 

Think of it like this: we’re all walking around with personal kaleidoscopes. Our past experiences, current mood, and values shape the patterns we see.

Taking things personally happens when we forget that others are viewing life through their own lens—not ours.

The Button You Give Away

When you take things personally, you’re handing over control. You’re letting someone else push the button that affects your thoughts and actions. But the truth is—you don’t have to give anyone that button.

I once coached a client who saw feedback as a personal attack. Every comment felt like criticism, which drained her energy and motivation. It was exhausting. Another client had a different mindset—she saw feedback as useful input. Same feedback, completely different internal response.

The Power of Your Reaction

When you react without pausing, you lose control of where your energy goes. If you’re caught up in taking things personally, you’ll waste time replaying that comment in your head, doubting yourself, or planning your response. That’s energy drained, not directed.

But what if you could choose to redirect your energy toward something productive? Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, you could use that energy to refine your ideas, strengthen your work, or dive into your next project. 

Self-leadership is about choosing where your energy flows in ways that support your growth, not drain it.

How to Shift the Lens

How do you stop taking things personally? It’s not about ignoring feedback, it’s about understanding perception and choosing your response. Here’s how:

  • Pause: Before reacting, take a deep breath.
  • Question: Ask, “Is this really about me?”
  • Get curious: Consider their perspective. What might be behind their comment?
  • Zoom out: Imagine watching this moment in a movie. What’s really going on with both people?
  • Redirect: Ask yourself, “Where would my energy be more useful right now?”
  • Prevent: Reflect on, “How can I keep myself from being triggered in the future?”

Your Challenge

For a few days, practice being a perspective detective. When something stings, think about their lens instead of just reacting from your own. You’ll be surprised how much mental space you free up, and how it changes your interactions.

Choosing not to take things personally isn’t about shutting down—it’s about gaining clarity. When you recognize that everyone’s reactions are filtered through their own experiences, you reclaim control over your own focus and energy.

This is self-leadership in action—the ability to guide your thoughts and actions, use your energy wisely, and keep your focus where it matters most. That’s where real freedom comes from.

As with everything I share, play around with this and see what fits! Let me know what you discover. 

Continue ReadingThe Unexpected Freedom of Not Taking Things Personally
Read more about the article Dropping Anchor: Take the Lead on You With This Tool

Dropping Anchor: Take the Lead on You With This Tool

As ambitious women, we often find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of responsibilities. Consequently, juggling work deadlines, family commitments, and personal projects can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Moreover, this year’s uncertainties have only intensified these feelings. However, there’s a powerful tool we can use to regain our focus: Dropping Anchor.

What is Dropping Anchor?

Dropping Anchor is a self-leadership skill that helps you reconnect with the present moment. In essence, it acts as a “circuit breaker” for problematic mental activity, whether you’re worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.

To illustrate, picture a boat in stormy seas. While Dropping Anchor doesn’t calm the storm, it nevertheless provides stability amidst the chaos. As a result, this technique allows you to steady yourself when external factors threaten to throw you off course.

How to Practice Dropping Anchor

To effectively Drop Anchor, follow these three simple steps:

  1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts: First, notice your internal state without judgment. For example, think, “I’m feeling overwhelmed” or “I’m worried about keeping up.”
  2. Connect with Your Body: Next, perform a quick body scan. Subsequently, focus on physical sensations like your feet on the floor or your breath moving in and out.
  3. Engage with Your Surroundings: Finally, look around and observe your environment. If you’re in a meeting, consciously re-engage with the conversation or task at hand.

You can practice Dropping Anchor in as little as 30 seconds or up to 10 minutes. Ultimately, the key is consistency. Therefore, make it a habit throughout your day, especially before important events or when you feel your mind racing.

Who Benefits from Dropping Anchor?

This self-leadership skill is valuable for all ambitious women, particularly:

  • Working Moms balancing career and family
  • Entrepreneurs managing the demands of running a business
  • High-achieving professionals prone to unproductive thought patterns

Importantly, the more you practice, the more easily you’ll access this tool when you need it most.

Regaining Direction in Uncertain Times

In conclusion, Dropping Anchor offers a powerful way to find your center and focus on what you can control. By reconnecting with your body, senses, and current tasks, you’ll build resilience against life’s storms.

Hence, the next time you feel overwhelmed, try Dropping Anchor. It might be the self-leadership skill you need to navigate turbulent waters and steer your ship confidently.

Remember, you have the power to steady yourself, even when the world around you feels chaotic. Ultimately, with Dropping Anchor, you’re taking an active role in your mental well-being and personal leadership.

Continue ReadingDropping Anchor: Take the Lead on You With This Tool
Read more about the article From “Should” to “Choose”: How Changing Your Words Can Change Your Actions

From “Should” to “Choose”: How Changing Your Words Can Change Your Actions

As a leadership coach working closely with clients, and in my own life, I frequently encounter a common hurdle: the use of “should” statements or “shoulding” ourselves. Coined by psychologist Clayton Barbeau,”shoulding yourself” means imposing expectations on yourself or others. So many clients often say things like “ I should be starting a podcast” or “I should be farther along in building my website”. These statements often pop into our minds automatically, dictating what we feel obliged to do rather than what we genuinely want or need.

While these ‘should’ statements are so common, they’re not very productive. Let’s explore why.

 What “Should” Really Means 

Think about typical “should” statements: “I should exercise more”, “I should have finished that project by now”, or “I should be able to handle this”. These phrases carry an undertone of obligation and guilt, making certain actions seem necessary rather than chosen. They reflect automatic thoughts that lack the careful consideration of reasons and consequences that clear thinking entails. 

Rather than being in auto-pilot mode, ask yourself why you think you should do something, and if there’s a solid reason, focus on that. For example: “Preparing for tomorrow’s presentation now will help me feel more confident and perform better” is useful. It helps you decide. But a response such as “I should work late” without a reason just makes you feel guilty. It doesn’t help you choose. 

Obviously we all have real responsibilities, but automatic “shoulds” drain us, leading to stress, resentment, and decreased job satisfaction. They can even hurt your job performance and relationships over time.

The Downsides of “Should” 

Continuous “shoulding” can lead to unnecessary guilt. This guilt isn’t necessarily about moral failure but about not meeting self-imposed or externally influenced expectations. It creates a cycle where tasks associated with “should” become burdensome, leading to procrastination and avoidance.

We learn this habit early in life, often from authority figures like parents and teachers who set expectations that we internalize as absolute truths. As adults, these “shoulds” persist, shaping our decisions and self-image. However, as individuals, we have the autonomy to challenge these expectations and redefine our relationship with obligations.

The Freedom to Choose  

Recognizing our ability to choose offers a powerful shift in mindset. It transforms passive obligations into active decisions. Instead of saying, “I should do this,” we can say, “I choose to do this.” This shift empowers us and aligns our actions more closely with our personal values and goals.

By replacing “should” with “choose,” we acknowledge that every action has consequences. It encourages us to think critically about our decisions, considering not only immediate desires but also long-term implications. This deliberate approach fosters a sense of responsibility and ownership over our lives, moving us away from guilt-driven actions towards purposeful choice.

Why “Choose” Works Better 

Choosing over “shoulding” promotes action and autonomy. It shifts our mindset from one of obligation to one of choice and power. When we recognize our choices, we become more mindful of our decisions’ impact.

How to Make the Change 

So, how do we break free from the “should’ mentality? It all starts with awareness. Notice when “should” thoughts arise and consciously replace them with “choose” or “want to”. This simple change can have a huge effects on our productivity. It encourages us to approach tasks not out of guilt but out of genuine desire aligned with our personal values.

 Wrap-up 

The shift from “shoulding” on ourselves goes beyond semantics; it represents a change in how we navigate our choices. Embracing the language of choice paves the way for more meaningful actions and a deeper sense of fulfillment in all aspects of life.

How often do you catch yourself “shoulding”? I am here to help you! 

Continue ReadingFrom “Should” to “Choose”: How Changing Your Words Can Change Your Actions
Read more about the article Staying Focused Amid Shiny Objects: Women Leaders’ Guide

Staying Focused Amid Shiny Objects: Women Leaders’ Guide

In 2024, what’s now called “shiny object syndrome” is a very common challenge for women leaders. Similar to the Diderot effect, where acquiring one new item triggers a cascade of unnecessary purchases, shiny object syndrome leads you to chase every new idea or opportunity, often at the expense of your core goals. Here’s how to spot it, manage it effectively, and stay focused on what truly matters to you:

Spot Shiny Object Syndrome

Shiny object syndrome occurs when you get caught up in new ideas or opportunities that don’t support your main goals. It tempts you to start new projects without completing what truly counts. Notice it when you feel pulled in different directions or when your attention drifts away from what’s most important.

Define Your Goals

Start by defining clear, specific goals for yourself. Whether it’s advancing in your career, launching a passion project, or achieving personal milestones, clarity about your objectives helps you distinguish between opportunities that support your vision and distractions that don’t.

Stay Connected to Your Vision

Keep your focus on the bigger picture—what you envision for your future. Regularly visualize yourself achieving your goals and remind yourself why they are important. This mental clarity shields you from distractions and keeps you motivated to stay on track, making it easier to say no to shiny distractions.

Set Boundaries

Not every opportunity contributes to your goals. Before committing, ask yourself: Does this move me closer to my desired outcome, or does it divert my focus? Developing the skill to decline distractions is crucial. Establish clear boundaries around your time, energy, and resources to prioritize activities that genuinely contribute to your success.

Make Smart Choices

Use the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) when evaluating ideas and opportunities. Focus on those that support your long-term vision and have clear objectives. This approach ensures your efforts are directed towards activities that yield tangible results, rather than fleeting trends.

Manage Your Time Wisely

Your time is valuable. Allocate dedicated time for tasks that propel you toward your goals. This focused approach minimizes less critical tasks and propels you forward. Prioritize tasks based on their impact and leverage tools to monitor progress and deadlines effectively.

Build Your Support System

Surround yourself with individuals who support your aspirations. Whether they are mentors, colleagues, or supportive networks, their encouragement keeps you motivated and accountable. Connecting with like-minded peers who share your goals provides valuable insights and inspiration for personal and professional growth.

Reflect and Adjust

Regularly review your progress. Reflect on whether your current activities support your primary goals or pose distractions in disguise. This introspection helps you stay focused on what truly matters, resisting the allure of shiny objects that could derail your progress. Journaling, meditation, or discussions with trusted mentors can offer clarity and guidance.

Celebrate Your Wins

Every achievement, no matter how small, deserves acknowledgment. Celebrating your successes reinforces your commitment to your main objectives and strengthens your resolve to resist shiny distractions. Recognize your progress, learn from your experiences, and leverage each accomplishment as motivation to pursue your primary goals with clarity and determination.

Applying the Lesson to Self-Leadership

The Diderot effect highlights how acquiring one new thing often triggers unnecessary purchases. Similarly, in self-leadership, chasing every new idea or trend can scatter your focus and drain your energy without advancing your long-term objectives. By maintaining clarity on your goals, establishing boundaries, and making deliberate choices that support your vision, you cultivate resilience and steer yourself toward success.

WOOHOO! 

Stressed about this? Don’t be. I am here to help you! 

Continue ReadingStaying Focused Amid Shiny Objects: Women Leaders’ Guide
Read more about the article Level Up Your Leadership: Stay Present with These Tips

Level Up Your Leadership: Stay Present with These Tips

 

Ever find yourself replaying that awkward meeting from last week or stressing about next month’s project deadline? Our minds are like time machines, flipping between past regrets and future worries. But what if the key to being most effective today is simply being here now?

What Does “Stay Present” Actually Mean And Feel Like?

We’ve all heard the overused advice to “stay present in the moment,” but what does it actually mean and feel like in real life? Being truly present feels like you’re fully immersed and engaged in the current activity. You feel peace and contentment, not pulled in many directions. It’s consciously focusing your attention on what’s happening right now, without getting lost in thoughts about the past or future—fully experiencing and engaging with your current surroundings, tasks, and relationships.

The Cost of Mental Time Travel

Living in the past or future isn’t just distracting; it’s draining. Worrying about things you can’t change or control saps your energy. This constant mental tug-of-war leaves you exhausted and less productive. When your mind fixates on yesterday’s mistakes or tomorrow’s challenges, you miss out on the only moment where action is possible—right now.

Why the Present Moment Is Key

Being present is where you find your power. It’s where you’re most focused, creative, and effective. Your interactions improve, stress levels drop, and you can take meaningful steps forward.

The World’s Constant Pull

The world doesn’t make it easy to stay present:

  • Back-to-School Ads in July: Before summer ends, we’re already thinking about fall.
  • Christmas Sales in October: Holidays are hyped up months in advance.
  • Social Media Alerts: Notifications keep us glued to screens, distracting us from right now.
  • News Cycles: Non-stop updates keep us dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Tips to Stay Present

Here are practical ways to cue yourself back into the present moment:

  • Create Cues: Notice the sensations in your body, the sounds around you, and the details of your environment. This mindfulness technique anchors you in the present.
  • Mindful Breaks: Schedule short pauses to breathe and reset. Check-in with yourself to regain focus.
  • Single-tasking: Focus on one task at a time rather than multitasking. Dedicate your attention fully to each task for more effective performance and presence.
  • Building the Present Moment Muscle: Train your mind by gently bringing your attention back when lost in thought—it’s like strengthening a muscle with each thought rep.

Takeaway

Staying present taps into your most productive energy. Take a deep breath and bring your attention back to this present moment—where your real power lies.

Are you ready to take the first step toward a more focused you? Book your complimentary call with me here!

Continue ReadingLevel Up Your Leadership: Stay Present with These Tips
Read more about the article How Avoiding Discomfort Holds You Back (And What to Do About It)

How Avoiding Discomfort Holds You Back (And What to Do About It)

Ever catch yourself thinking, “This is hard,” “I can’t do this,” or “This is embarrassing,” and feeling like there’s no way you’re going to do “this”? We’ve all been there. It’s that knot in your stomach, that gnawing feeling that makes you want to take the easy route just to avoid it.

Let’s face it—feeling uncomfortable is part of life, and it’s challenging. But dodging all discomfort has become a bad habit for many of us, and it’s holding us back. Our brains are wired to spot discomfort as a potential threat, but most of the time, those threats aren’t real at all. When we recognize this and choose to face discomfort because of what awaits us on the other side, we take charge of creating exactly what we want.

Why Dodging All Discomfort Backfires

In my coaching practice, I see it all the time. Dodging discomfort drains energy and blocks my clients from opportunities, slowing their progress. Most of the time, there’s no real danger—just uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Yes, those thoughts and feelings can feel intense, but once you allow for them, they lose their grip on you. When we understand this and decide we can handle some because it’s not a real threat, that’s where the magic happens. It’s usually the direct path to what we truly value and the results we want.

It Isn’t Always a Threat

Not every uncomfortable feeling means danger to our safety. Most do not. Often, it’s just our mind reacting to new or challenging situations. These feelings can mislead us. The key is recognizing when discomfort is just a signal of going outside of your comfort zone and deciding it’s worth bearing. This shift in perspective can lead to incredible outcomes.

The Cost of Avoiding

Whether it’s staying quiet in meetings, avoiding tough conversations, or putting off tasks we don’t like, this habit holds us back. When you don’t allow yourself to tolerate feeling uncomfortable enough to make a change or figure something out, you actually increase another more intense type of discomfort – the pain of not creating the result you want badly. 

Everyday Examples of Dodging Discomfort

  • Speaking Up: You have a brilliant idea in a meeting but stay silent, fearing judgment.
  • Difficult Conversations: You avoid addressing issues with colleagues to avoid conflict.
  • New Opportunities: You pass on career advancements because you fear rejection.

Each of these moments is an opportunity for growth and success. By choosing to face discomfort because we believe we can handle it and because what’s on the other side aligns with our values, we move closer to our goals.

Strategies to Handle Discomfort

  • Focus on Your Goals: When faced with a challenging task or presentation, remind yourself why it matters. Keeping your goal in mind shifts your focus from discomfort to achievement.
  • Live Your Values: Identify your core values and let them guide your actions. If growth and contribution are important to you, working through discomfort—like speaking up or taking on challenging projects—becomes a natural expression of your values.
  • Challenge Yourself: Stepping outside your comfort zone allows you to confront exaggerated fears and realize that discomfort is temporary. Each small step builds resilience and confidence.
  • Identify What You’re Avoiding: Make a list of tasks or situations you’ve been avoiding due to discomfort. Understanding the underlying fears—whether it’s fear of embarrassment, rejection, or failure—helps demystify discomfort and encourages you to take action.

How to Manage Discomfort: What You Truly Want is on the Other Side

By reacting impulsively or retreating from discomfort, we often choose temporary relief over long-term growth. Avoiding it may seem like a safe option, but it ultimately leads us away from our desires. Remember, what you truly want is often on the other side of discomfort. Don’t fall into the trap of dodging it. Take small, deliberate steps to acknowledge and move through discomfort, and watch how it propels you toward your goals.

Ready to overcome what’s holding you back? I am here to help you every step of the way. Book a complimentary call with me here and let’s start transforming discomfort into your greatest opportunity for growth.

Continue ReadingHow Avoiding Discomfort Holds You Back (And What to Do About It)
Read more about the article Leadership Insights from Brad Meltzer’s Impactful Commencement Speech

Leadership Insights from Brad Meltzer’s Impactful Commencement Speech

Recently, I attended the University of Michigan’s commencement ceremony at the legendary Big House, where Brad Meltzer, an Emmy-nominated best selling author, delivered a very impactful speech. Here’s a breakdown of the leadership insights that stood out, for all of us who are on a mission to lead ourselves and others – even better. 

1. Vision is Everything

Brad emphasized the power of vision. He challenged the graduates to “Imagine making the invisible visible,” urging them to not only dream about what they want to achieve but to actively visualize it. For leaders, this means setting clear, actionable goals that inspire and motivate both themselves and their teams.

2. Overcome Doubts with Persistence

He cleverly stated, “Let your fears vanish like a coin in a magician’s hand.” This metaphor highlights the practice of awareness and managing doubts. Effective leadership requires the courage to face uncertainties head-on and the resilience to persist through challenges. It was a vivid reminder that the barriers we face—both internal and external—are not insurmountable.

3. Adaptability is Key

Brad touched on the need for transformation, not just in tasks but in perspectives. “Transformation isn’t just about changing what you do, but how you see,” he explained. In today’s fast-paced world, a leader’s ability to adapt to new situations and pivot strategies when necessary is crucial for success.

4. Create Your Own Path

Toward the end of his address, Brad encouraged the audience to “create your own magic.” This is a powerful reminder for leaders to take initiative, innovate, and carve their own paths. Leadership involves not just following best practices but also setting new benchmarks and leading by example.

5. The Importance of Support Networks

Meltzer also emphasized the value of building strong support networks. He suggested that like any skilled magician who relies on a team to set the stage, leaders should surround themselves with people who can offer different perspectives and support. This network is vital for personal growth and helps maintain resilience in challenging times.

6. Leading with Integrity

Another critical aspect Meltzer highlighted was the importance of integrity in leadership. He reminded the graduates that the true test of leadership is not just about achieving success but doing so in a way that respects and uplifts others. Leading with integrity involves being honest, transparent, and committed to fair practices.

7. Continuous Learning and Growth

Brad encouraged a mindset of lifelong learning and curiosity. He argued that the most effective leaders are those who remain students at heart—always curious, always eager to learn more, and always willing to evolve. This approach not only enhances personal development but also ensures that one’s leadership style remains dynamic and relevant.

Leading with Confidence and Courage

Brad Meltzer’s speech goes beyond typical graduation advice, offering deep insights into effective leadership. It encourages us to lead with vision, overcome adversity with courage, adapt with purpose, and innovate with integrity. As we take these lessons to heart, we prepare not only to succeed for ourselves but also to inspire and impact everyone around us.

Let’s Go! 

I always love hearing from you.  Get in touch here and follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn to be part of an amazing community!

Continue ReadingLeadership Insights from Brad Meltzer’s Impactful Commencement Speech
Read more about the article Master Your Leadership: Lessons from the NBA Playoffs

Master Your Leadership: Lessons from the NBA Playoffs

 

 

If you’ve watched the Knicks vs. 76ers playoff games, you’ve seen more than just exciting basketball. These games highlight how adopting a mastery orientation—constantly refining your skills—can dramatically boost your success. This strategy is crucial for professional women who are determined to overcome obstacles and achieve big results. 

Mastery vs. Performance Orientation: What’s the Difference?

Mastery Orientation Explained

Mastery orientation (an approach or focus) is about consistently improving yourself and enjoying the learning process, regardless of immediate results. Your emphasis is on personal development and seeing success as surpassing your own past performance. Failures are seen as part of the learning journey and opportunities to gain insight on improvements.

Performance Orientation

On the flip side, performance orientation is when your focus is on hitting specific targets, often motivated by external rewards. You view success as beating competitors, and see failures as setbacks that reflect negatively on your abilities. Your focus is more about outshining others than on personal advancement.

People can display both mastery and performance orientations, but studies show that mastery orientation is more effective for achieving big goals. It emphasizes continuous self-improvement and learning, which are essential for long-term success.

Key Comparisons

  • Goals: Mastery is about growth; performance is about results.
  • Focus: Mastery loves the journey; performance focuses on the destination.
  • Motivation: Mastery is fueled from within; performance looks outward for validation.
  • Feedback: Mastery sees feedback as a tool for growth; performance may take it as criticism.
  • Persistence: Mastery keeps you going long-term; performance might not last without quick wins.

Why Mastery Matters for Success

Mastery orientation doesn’t just build your skills—it builds you into a better leader. It prepares you to handle whatever is thrown at you with grace and expertise.

Mastery is The Path to the Outcomes You Want

For accomplished women aiming to boost their influence, innovate more, and create success and wealth, mastery orientation is vital. It’s about playing the long game—building the skills and insights that lead to real results. This approach helps you not just reach but exceed your goals by fostering innovation and driving success on your terms. Mastery isn’t about quick wins; it’s about meaningful, sustained achievement.

Implementing Mastery For Yourself 

  1. Set Clear Mastery Goals: Identify areas where you want to grow, whether it’s stepping into a new role or enhancing your skills.
  2. Embrace Each Learning Opportunity: Treat every challenge as a chance to learn, not just a box to tick.
  3. Break Down Your Goals: Tackle big ambitions in small, manageable steps to keep progressing.
  4. Welcome Feedback: Use feedback to better yourself, not as a stick to beat yourself with.

Mastery: Your Route to Success

For ambitious women looking to increase their influence and achieve lasting success, focusing on mastery is essential. It’s about the long haul—developing skills and knowledge that deliver genuine results. This strategy not only helps you meet your goals but exceed them, allowing you to innovate and succeed on your own terms. Mastery is more than quick victories; it’s about significant, enduring success.

Choosing between mastery and performance orientation is a huge step toward growth. Mastery, driven by continuous improvement and intrinsic motivation, leads to lasting success. A performance-focused mindset often falls short. Embracing mastery means embracing challenges, setting clear goals, and welcoming feedback. 

Get in touch here to learn more about one-on-one coaching and be sure to follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn to be part of a community committed to purposeful growth and leadership.

Take the first step towards lasting success. I am here with you every step of the way!

Continue ReadingMaster Your Leadership: Lessons from the NBA Playoffs
Read more about the article Feed Your Inner Leader: Insights from the Tale of Two Wolves for Women

Feed Your Inner Leader: Insights from the Tale of Two Wolves for Women

You have probably heard the old tale about the battle between two wolves.  In the story, a grandfather tells his grandson about two wolves fighting inside of him – one represents our “good” virtues, and the other our “evil” vices. In the case of empowering women leaders, which is the winner?  The one you feed. 

This classic story of wolves isn’t just a quaint tale; it’s a powerful metaphor for our internal conflicts that influence our actions and outcomes.  The essence of, well, being human.  

This is a reboot!

For women leaders today, the struggle is next level – because it involves a whole different wolf pack of  – our thoughts.  One “species” is the subtle and very challenging thoughts of self-doubt, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, second-guessing and more. 

This wolf pack can devour our confidence and hold us back. 

Here are some internal challenges facing women leaders:

  • Self-Doubt: Questioning your decisions or capabilities, whispering that you might not be up to the task, often leading to hesitation in decision-making and a reluctance to take bold steps.
  • Perfectionism: Striving for flawless results can create unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration and burnout when those standards are not met.
  • Imposter Syndrome: Feeling like a fraud in your roles and doubting your accomplishments. Convinces you that you’re not really qualified, and soon, everyone will discover this.
  • Fear of Rejection: worrying about being negatively judged or not accepted by others, which can hinder open communication and assertiveness.
  • Fear of Failure:  Spinning about not succeeding can prevent taking risks that are part of growth, advancement and creating new results.
  • Constant Comparison: Comparing yourself to others in similar roles can lead to a distorted view of your accomplishments.
  • Second-Guessing: Keeps you looping on decisions made, wasting energy and clouding your focus.

This blog is really a call to action. Better leadership begins internally.  Here’s a great place to begin. 

“The hardest person you will ever have to lead is yourself” – Bill George, True North

The Power of Growth Mindset

On the other side, there is a completely different “species” of thoughts available for us to choose, practice and strengthen –  and which propel us forward: growth, mastery, seizing opportunities, and embracing possibilities.

  • Growth Mindset: Viewing challenges as opportunities to expand your skills and knowledge, rather than as threats.
  • Mastery v. Performance: Shifting from a perfectionism-driven approach to one of excellence, focusing on continuous improvement rather than flawless outcomes.
  • Ownership of Achievements: Recognizing your past successes as evidence of your capability and using this as a foundation to build further success, mitigating feelings of being an imposter.

By becoming aware of the thoughts you’re unintentionally feeding, and choosing instead to nourish those which support you, you pave the way for creating exactly what you want. It’s about making a conscious choice every day about which internal thoughts you give power to. 

Lead Like You Mean It

Better leadership means making deliberate choices about your thoughts every single day, because that choice impacts everything. Every day, you get to choose which thoughts get your time and energy.  Check-in with yourself to see if they are the ones that help you feel powerful, capable, and downright unstoppable.

 So, which wolf are you going to feed today?  I’d love to know. 

It’s always great to hear from you.

Get in touch here to learn more about one-on-one coaching and to follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn to be part of my community committed to purposeful growth and leadership for AMAZING WOMEN.

Continue ReadingFeed Your Inner Leader: Insights from the Tale of Two Wolves for Women
Read more about the article Oscar-Winning Insights from SXSW 2024

Oscar-Winning Insights from SXSW 2024

I recently got  back from SXSW 2024, where I had the chance to hear from Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert–known as “the Daniels,“— who are the creative geniuses behind “Everything Everywhere All at Once.” They talked a lot about an ancient Japanese concept called Ikigai, which basically means finding your purpose. 

Although their panel wasn’t about leadership coaching, it got me thinking about how Ikigai is a phenomenal process for my clients and for all women leaders who crave more impact, influence, and success.  Ikigai can shift you into consistent and intentional creation and action, paving the way for that outcome you really want.

Finding Your Purpose: Ikigai

So, what’s Ikigai (pronounced “ee-kee-guy,) all about? It’s basically your personal roadmap to leading yourself with purpose, and leading others.

Think about it as a blend of four elements : 

  • What you love, 
  • What you’re good at, 
  • What you can get paid for,
  •  & What the world needs. 

It’s about figuring out what truly lights you up and using that to guide your choices. Finding the overlap of these four elements may sound challenging, and while it may take some effort, it is WORTH IT.

By thinking about  these elements and exploring where they overlap, you’re well on your way to leading yourself with a sense of purpose that can keep you very motivated and in action.  That’s MAJOR. 

Leading With Intention

Leading yourself with intention is everything. Discovering your Ikigai means you are no longer drifting aimlessly, you have a clear path in mind and are the sole architect of it. You turn autopilot mode off  and forge a new direction that resonates with your own values and aspirations. By clarifying your purpose, you can make every decision through this lens and easily sync that up with your actions.  No more feeling stuck! Whether it’s pursuing impact, influence, wealth, or any kind of success as you define it, you do so with intention, conviction and consistent action..

Ikigai isn’t just about you though. By leading yourself with purpose, you become a motivating spark for those around you. Your clarity and authenticity motivate others to find their own Ikigai and discover what they are capable of. Together, you create a chain reaction of purpose-driven leaders making a real impact in their world and in the world.  AHHHMAZING!

Taking Action

Ikigai is such a great fit for my coaching clients and all women leaders because it isn’t just about deep thoughts and reflection – it’s about taking action. Armed with your newfound sense of purpose, you’ll have the confidence and drive to pursue your goals with passion and determination. Whether it’s launching a new initiative, founding a company, or mentoring the next generation of women leaders, every action you take is infused with purpose and intent. 

Ready to explore Ikigai? 

Here’s how you can get started:

  • Reflect on what makes you tick – what do you love, what are you good at, what gets you fired up?
  • Explore how each answer aligns with your current role and what you really want to create and do,  as a woman leader.
  • Then, try it out and use your Ikigai as a guiding compass to inform your decisions and actions going forward..
  • Share your journey with others and encourage them to discover their own Ikigai. 

Ikigai in a nutshell:

In his Academy Awards acceptance speech, Daniel Kwan took the opportunity to encourage everyone to tap into this creativity. 

“There is greatness in every single person, it doesn’t matter who they are. If you have a genius that is waiting to erupt, you just need to find the right people to unlock that.,”

As a successful woman leader, exploring  Ikigai can be an incredible tool. By finding your purpose, leading yourself with intention, and inspiring others through your actions, you’ll create a ripple effect of positive change for yourself and everyone around you. 

Inspired by the transformative power of Ikigai? You’re not alone. I invite you to explore the depths of your own purpose and potential with a guide who’s walked this path and helped many women leaders like yourself illuminate their journeys. It is my passion – and profession – to do that with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!

Dive deep into the heart of your Ikigai with personalized coaching designed to unlock your unique blend of passion, skill, vocation, and mission. Together, we’ll craft a roadmap that not only leads you to success but also fulfillment and impact. Whether you’re aiming to redefine your career, enhance your leadership, or simply find more meaning in your everyday actions, our one-on-one sessions provide the clarity, strategy, and support you need to lead with intention and thrive.

Get in touch here to learn more about one-on-one coaching and be sure to follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn to be part of a community committed to purposeful growth and leadership.

Stay true to your Ikigai and watch what happens. 

Continue ReadingOscar-Winning Insights from SXSW 2024

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